What the YYH cast is REALLY like
by Kuramafan
Summary: Yes, everyone claims that they know what the characters of Yuyu Hakusho look and act like...but that's only on camera. Warning:Do NOT read if you don't have a good sense of humor for the show!
1. chapter one

Yes, everyone claims that they know what the Yuyu Hakusho characters look and act like... but that's only on camera. What? Did you seriously think that was how they really acted? COME ON! THEY HAVE LIVES TOO YOU KNOW! WHY IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU I SWEAR I'LL...oops, sorry. Got a little carried away there. Anyways, sit back, grab a bowl of popcorn and enjoy the show!

  


Disclaimer: I do not own Yuyu Hakusho. ya-dee-da-dee-da.

  


The REAL Yusuke

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

Yusuke: "Thank goodness! *pulls off mask to reveal true self to be an extremely ugly girl* (A/N: I'll bet you didn't see that coming. Especially after all those scenes with him now wearing a shirt huh?) *drooling* "Now, where's that sexy Shishi Wakamaru?"

Shishi: *walks by* "Oh no, not you again!" *runs off*

Yusuke: "Come on Shishi! You know you can't resist me!" *chases after Shishi*

  


The REAL Kuwabara and Yukina

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

Kuwabara: "Finally. Now I can read that novel." *pulls out Lord of the Rings*

5 minutes later

Kuwabara: "Well that was an extreme disappointment." *puts the finished book on the table* "What am I supposed to do now? I could always tutor Kurama in math, yet, I don't believe there is a soul alive that could help that fool."

Yukina: *walks by*

Kuwabara: "Hello Yukina. Would you like to play a game of Trivial pursuit or Cranium with me?"

Yukina: "Ummm...sorry but, one: even if I did want to play your stupid game I can't because I'm going raving. And two: Nobody likes you. (A/N: You tell him Yukina!) I only play that little good girl so I can use the money to by drugs." *pops in some ecstacy* 

  


The REAL Kurama and Boton

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today." 

Kurama: *pulls of wig and mask to reveal that he's really and ugly old bald guy* "Man that wig is...uh...what's the word again? Oh yea! Itchy! Man that wig is itchy!"

Kuwabara: *walks by* "My goodness you have grammar issues."

Kurama: "What in tarnation is yous talkin bout? I ain't gots none grammar issues."

Kuwabara: "Pathetic." *walks off*

Boton: "Don't worry Kurama, I think your sexy this way." *Feels his hairy and flabby chest*

Kurama: "Come on baby." *brings Boton to his smelly old trailer* "Let's have some fun."

3 hours later

Boton: "Wow! I can't believe how good you are at that!" *fixes hair*

Kurama: "Yea, that was the best game of Scrabble I ever played too." (A/N: What did you think they were doing huh? Don't deny it. I know what you were thinking. Naughty naughty)

The REAL Hiei

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today." 

Hiei: "Where is my french vanilla cappuccino mocha almond fudge pecan latte low fat smoothie?!"

Girl: *brings it out on a golden platter* "Here you are Hiei-sama."

Hiei: *takes one sip and spits it out* THERE IS 2% MILK IN THIS! YOU KNOW I ONLY DRINK 1.725%!"

Girl: *mutters under breathe* "what a pre-Madonna. I should have never taken this job."

Hiei: "WHAT?! PRE-MADONNA? DON'T WORRY YOU WON'T HAVE THIS JOB IN A FEW SECONDS. AND I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU NEVER WORK HERE AGAIN! DRAGON OD THE DARKNESS FLAME!!!"

Girl: x_x

Kuramfan: "I think that you may have gotten a little carried away there Hiei."

Hiei: *twitches* Oh really, you think I got carried away huh? WELL HOW'S THIS FOR CARRIED AWAY?!" *destroys everything in a 5 mile radios*

  


The REAL Genkai

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today." 

Genkai: *poofs into a two month old infant* "Goo goo, ga ga."

  


The REAL Koenma Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today." 

Koenma: *unzips costume and turns out to be an 8'2 ½ tall basketball player*

director: "Koenma? Can I have a word with you? Please step into my office."

Koenma: "Sure." *bumps head on doorway and passes out*

director: *sigh* "That's the third time this week."

  


And that was just half of the characters that I plan to tell you act in real life. R&R please! Unless you don't want me to continue that is.


	2. chapter two

I'm back! Yes it's true! Like it or not, I'm continuing! Well, here's the rest of the story so here you go.

  


The REAL Jin and Touya

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

Jin: *clears throat and instead of having his sexy Irish accent he instead has a weird British one* "WAHOO! BRITISH PRIDE!" *waves the British flag*

Touya: *skips by and gives Jin an invitation* "Wanna come to my birthday party? There will be cake, ice cream, and everything!"

Hiei: "SWEET SNOW?! WHERE?" 

Jin: (ignoring Hiei) "Screw you Touya! I never liked you anyway. I only pretended to be friends with you because you gave me your brownies at lunch break. So there."

Touya: "I can't believe you! Your little bitch! That's it! We are not friends any longer." *tears up invitation*

Jin: "Yea, well, can I still have your brownies?"

Touya: "Go fuck the wind."

The Real Toguro brothers

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

younger Toguro: "Oh look! It's a baby bunny! Can I pet it big brother?"

older Toguro: "Yea yea, whatever." *goes back to playing Pokemon*

younger Toguro: "YAY!" *picks up bunny and snuggles it* "First I'm gonna pet you, then I'm gonna feed you, and then I'm gonna set you free!"

older Toguro: "ALL RIGHT! I caught a Pikachu!"

younger Toguro: *continues to snuggle bunny* "I love you. Yes I do! Who loves you? Yes! I love you! Good bunny!"

older Toguro: *gameboy's power goes out* NOOO!!! I DIDN'T SAVE! MY LITTLE PIKACHU!" 

The REAL Karasu and Bui

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today." Karasu: *takes off cloak to reveal extremely stylish/sexy clothes*

Bui: *takes off armor to reveal a frilly pink dress* "Hey Karasu! Wanna play barbies with me? Here! You can be Chelsie!" *hands barbie to Karasu*

Karasu: *blows up barbie*

Bui: *tearing up* "Why did you do that?!"

Karasu: "Hello? There was like no possible way to fix her hair. I was just putting her out of her misery." 

The REAL Yoko

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

Yoko: *holds up a sign that reads 'Lost all my money playing the slots and on girls. Please donate loose change, a tent, or maybe a cheeseburger...yea! A cheeseburger! But no onions! Yuck! Onions are gross. Happy holidays!'*

The REAL Kieko and Shizuru 

Yusuke: "Spirit gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

Kieko: "Gosh this job is stressful." *lights a cigarette*

Shizuru: *slaps cigarette out of Kieko's hand*

Kieko: "What the fuck did you do that for?"

Shizuru: "KIEKO?! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?! Do you know how may people die each year from smoking related diseases? Do you know what it does to your teeth, hair, skin, breathe, not to mention brains, lungs, stomach, and other vital organs? Do you know..." *goes on for the rest of the story explaining how smoking is wrong*

So, did we learn anything? If you liked my story then I'll give you a piece of candy. And if you didn't...THEN NO CANDY FOR YOU! And remember: don't EVER think that anime character's act the same on T.V. And also, make sure not to smoke! Cuz if you do then I'll just be forced to send the REAL Shizuru over and have a nice long chat with you. 


	3. chapter three

Well, I do believe that this is my last chapter for this story. I hope you like it. Oh yea! And I put Kuronue in this one, you may not know who Kuronue is, so if you don't than you can just skip over him if you want. Ah yes, the disclaimer...well I don't really feel like doing it so my school lunch can do it instead. ENJOY!

  


School lunch: Fan Fan does not own YuYu Hakusho! But I own you all! Muhahahahahahaha!

  


The REAL Sazaku

Yusuke: "Spirit Gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

Suzaku #1: "Has anyone seen my watch?"

Suzaku #6: "Is this it?" *holds up a watch*

Suzaku #1: "No."

Suzaku #3: "Is this it?" *holds up another watch*

Suzaku #1: "No."

Suzaku #5: "Well, we all have the same watch...so how do you know which one is yours Suzaku #1?"

Suzaku #1: "Because MINE has a crack in it."

Suzaku #2: "How did you get a crack in it?"

Suzaku #1: "Because stupid Suzaku #4 dropped it at the family reunion last year."

Suzaku #4: "I remember that...*shutters* and we were the smallest family there."

Suzaku #7: *huffs* "I hate being a septuplet."

  


The REAL Chu and Askuto 

Yusuke: "Spirit Gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

Chu and Askuto: "STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!"

Director: *runs over* "What is the meaning of this?! I pay both of you slightly above minimum wage!"

Askuto: "THAT'S NOT THE REASON! We're going on strike until every single person that works on this show is alcohol free."

Chu: "We already lost Rinku to alcohol in a car accident...the poor kid, he was so young."

Rinku: "That's not true! I'm right here! And I never drunk any kind of alcohol in my life!"

Askuto: "Well, maybe...but look at team Toguro over there getting drunk!"

team Toguro: "What are you talking about? We're drinking smoothies."

Chu: "Oh...well, look at team Urameshi over there drinking beer!"

Team Urameshi: "Huh? We're just drinking root beer." (A/N: Yuuuum, Root Beer)

Askuto: "Oh, well then, I guess there's no reason for us to be on strike."

Chu: "Wanna go get dinner?"

Askuto: "Sure!"

Director: *holds head* "Uhh, I need a beer."

  
  


The REAL Kuronue

Yusuke: "Spirit Gun!"

Director: "And cut! Good job people! That's enough for today."

Kuronue: "Yo yo yo! Where's my bling bling?"

Extremely skimpy girl: *brings out Kuronue's "bling bling"*

Kuronue: "Yo thanks sexy mama, I'll see you later."

Yoko: *walks by*

Kuronue: "Yoko! Sup home slice?"

Yoko: "If your trying to ask me how I am, I'm fine. Hey, you got any change?"

Kuronue: "Fo shizzle! Anything for my boys up in da hood! Here ya go." *gives Yoko a $ necklace from a 25 cent machine*

Yoko: -_-"Uhh, thanks Kuronue."

Kuronue: "Anythin for my demon brother. *looks at watch* Oh HELL no! I'm gonna be late for the audition for that filthy new demon rap group. Peace out!" *runs off*

Yoko: "I'll just leave now."

  


Fan Fan: Well, I think that's about all that I'm doing. I hope you liked it...because you should...because it's the truth!

Kurama: "What are you talking about? Your interpretation of us was completely inaccurate!" 

Everyone from the show: "He's right! Your wrong!"

Fan Fan: *tearing up* Why are you all ganging up on me? All I did was try to write a story that momentarily amused people!"

Kuwabara: "Momentarily dismuse is more like it. Ha Ha, I am so funny."

Everyone: "Yup, that's Kuwabara."

Kuwabara: "Kuwabaka is more like it...wait...uhhh...*trails off*

everyone: *spends rest of life laughing at Kuwabara's stupidness which IN FACT is a real word* 


	4. chapter four

Well, as we all know and are greatly happy about, YuYu Hakusho has continued!! And so has this fanfic!! Wahaha, fanfan gets to torture you even more!! So sit back, grab 6 year old

Halloween candy, and enjoy! curtains open

Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho or Johnny Depp. I do however own 6 year old Halloween candy.

The REAL Sensui

Yusuke: "Spirit Gun!"

Director: "And Cut! Good job people! That's enough for today!"

Sensui: "Like, all right man, I've got a green peace meeting to go to, I am the president of it after all. Peace out dudes! Long live the queen!"

Yusuke: "...Japan doesn't have a queen..."

Sensui: "If I wasn't such a carefree hippie I would so be kicking your ass right now."

Yusuke: "Don't you have a bong to smoke or something?"

Sensui: "Dude, you need to chill, smell the roses, enjoy life, buy a tye-dye shirt."

Yusuke: "Right...you've really lost it Sensui."

Sensui: now in a yoga position "The only thing you have left to loose is yourself."

Yusuke: "Uhh..." backs away

The REAL Sniper

Yusuke: "Spirit Gun!"

Director: "And Cut! Good job people! That's enough for today!"

Little kid: runs up to sniper "You're my hero Sniper! Can you show me how you have such great aim?"

Sniper: "Sure thing kid." picks up some marbles "Here, I'll hit that glass over there right off the table."

Little kid: "Cool!"

Sniper: "All right, here I go." flicks the marble off his hand

Seaman: "AHH!! MY EYE! MY GIGANTIC EYE!"

Sniper: huff "Now I hit him.."

Little kid: "Your no sniper! Your just a big fake!"

Sniper: "No, don't worry kid, I can get it right." shoots another marble

500 marbles later

Sniper: "Anytime now.."

The REAL Itsuki

Yusuke: "Spirit Gun!"

Director: "And Cut! Good job people! That's enough for today!"

Itsuki: takes off make up and turns out to be Johnny Depp

Yusuke: "Whoa, you always freak me out when you do that."

Johnny Depp: "What?"

Yusuke: "You just look so different..."

Johnny Depp: "Really? I find that I look so much like...oh great..."

flock of Johnny Depp fangirls enter room

Johnny Depp: "Well I better get going. I'm off!"

Yusuke: "Dude, your like everywhere, how do you do it?"

Johnny Depp: "Muhahaha, that's for me to find out, and you to never know until I end this Earth!!"

Yusuke: "..."

Well tha-tha-tha-tha...sorry I had a hair on my tongue, anyway, that's all folks! Tune in next time for Yomi, Mukuro, and others!!


End file.
